I’m not that kind of girl

After a mere 24 hours, I’ve decided that I can live without Pinterest. I’m not the crafty, DIY, Martha Stewart type of gal. Aside from the technical issues I have with the site — ever hear of a breadcrumb people?! — I have yet to find more than two things I will actually do.

For those of you not familiar with the uber-popular Pinterest, if you’re reading something you like on the ‘Net, you ‘Pin’ it to Pinterest to share with all the other people following you.

Kinda sounds like Facebook, I know. Everything you post in Pinterest is public and if you pin something that gets re-pinned a million times, you’ll show up on the ‘Popular’ page. Then your social status is set!

Sigh

I have three main issues with Pinterest — aside from the aforementioned breadcrumb.

1. Pinterest highlights all of my shortcomings
I don’t know how to sew.
I’m a renter and don’t/can’t have a garden.
I can’t afford to shop at stores that sell Gucci.
I don’t know how to sew.
I can’t afford to shop at stores that sell fancy food from foreign countries.
My iPhone is the fanciest camera I own.
I don’t know how to sew.
I don’t homeschool, instead opting to send my son to public school and after-school care.
I wouldn’t recognize kale if I sat on it.
I wouldn’t know an F-stop from a 4-way stop.
I don’t know how to sew.
Hanging a grouping of four photos on the wall takes me no less than a month to organize.
I’ve never bought, used, or seen ‘modge podge.’  I’m not that kind of girl.
Did I mention I don’t know how to sew?

I look at Pinterest and feel suddenly inferior to every other woman on the planet.

I feel like I need a chant to remind myself not to judge my worth on the mom who made these:

Or these:

By comparison, here’s breakfast at my house:

What Pinterest really needs is a wine board. Scratch that. An AFFORDABLE wine board.

2. Pinterest is fattening

I present the following evidence:

Homemade Snickers

Homemade Shamrock Shakes

Triple Chocolate Mouse Cake

Rolo Cookies

Sticky Breakfast Buns

Good grief!

There are things on there like homemade salsa, pizza crust made from cauliflower, and avocado-lime pasta salad. However, you have to really search for them and they are certainly not things my 7-year-old will eat. Most people aren’t re-pinning cauliflower pizza crust. Can you really blame them?

This leads me to No. 3: Pinterest is too much work for this gal.

Single mom. Full-time job. Kid in scouts and sports.

Exhibit A: Do I make salsa from scratch or buy a jar at the store in order to be able to use the salsa-making time to bathe my dogs who have just rolled in something gross? Salsa from the store it is.

Exhibit B:

Spice jars made from Starbucks Frapuccino bottles. Cute. Ain’t gonna happen.

Exhibit C:

Seriously? Just give me the caffeine!

Exhibit D:

If I tried to cut an orange like this I’d end up with stitches. I have a rule that if I see the word ‘zest’ in a recipe, I move on.

Back to the homemade Snickers. It’s heck of a lot faster and cheaper to BUY a bar. This one just about pushed me over the edge. Why would I want to make a Snickers bar?! Snickers has perfected it! Do I think I can do it better? Nope. It’s not going to be any healthier, it’s still a Snickers bar. And now I’ll have a huge mess to clean up. Much faster the old fashioned way.

While I can appreciate the usefulness of the site, and have found two crafts I am going to incorporate into my son’s Cub Scout Den, I’ve yet to find a niche for me there.

I’m not quitting though. I’m actually working on getting a board set up for BakersfieldMom.com for everyone to post on. You’re welcome to follow me, if you’re interested in stuff I deem to be ‘in the real world,’ funny quotes, or me taking pot-shots at the things I find ridiculous.

Here’s an idea: A ‘rip it off the wall’ feature. I could get into that.

That’s all I have to say for now.

Now please click the little red and white ‘Pin It’ button below this post and share with all your friends on Pinterest. Maybe we’ll make the ‘popular’ page!

P.S. A breadcrumb is a term developers use for the ‘return-to-home-type’ link at the top of the page so you don’t have to hit the back button 14 times to get back to where you started to go in another direction. I sat through meetings here for more than a year before I actually asked what it was. Heh.