We’ve all had moments when our kids have said something that made us laugh out loud They’re the witty zingers you’d never expect from them, the things that make you realize they understand more than we think.
Share your funny kid moments here, because only another parent would understand just how funny these moments truly are.
My mom was organizing a cupboard while my 7yo son was goofing off:
Grandma: Are you going to help me or hinder me?
7yo: What does ‘hinder’ mean
Grandma: To make it harder for me to work
7yo: *pauses and thinks* I’m gonna do a little bit of both
At least he’s honest!
My 3 year old son was on a roll one day and constantly getting in trouble. I told him if he didn’t straighten out soon he was going to get a time out. He looked at me and said ” but mommy I just want to be crooked today!! ” How do you not laugh at that?!!
My daughter and son in law were talking about school to the kids, Wesley, 9 and Sarah 7.
Mom: Wesley spell Mississippi. He tried, got it wrong.
Mom: Sarah, spell Mississippi.
Sarah: M-r-s- period- s-i-p-p-y……(Mrs. Sippy)
Yesterday, I was teaching our scout den how to play marbles, so we went out to Michael’s to get some ($1 a bag there!).
JJ: What are we going to play with the marbles at scouts?
Me: Marbles.
JJ: I know, but what are we going to play with them?
Me: The marbles game.
JJ: What’s it called?
Me: Marbles!
JJ: Nevermind.
Poor kid was so frustrated!
We were at Barnes and Noble on Sunday, had coffee and dessert and bought some books for my kids…7, 5 and 4. Upon leaving my 4 year old says ” mom I really like that Starbucks library, can we go again.”
Yesterday day after my son opted for the taco meat hot lunch at school, something I was sure he wouldn’t want to try.
Me: How did you like it?
Him: Oh my gosh, it was so good. Especially after I put ketchup all over it and mixed it with the beans.
*gag*
My son was about 4 yrs old at the time, he is now 14 told me and his dad he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. We were really proud and said oh good thats a good choice son, then you can take care of us too,, he proudly said “yes im going to work real hard so that i can have a lot of money and buy daddy a big ol black truck with big wheels.” and then his eyes got wide with so much excitement and said “and for you mommy something even more special-err, im buying a brand new pink Barbie bike with a big basket”…haha i had to act like that was way better than a brand new truck. I still tease him saying that he better work hard im still waiting for my barbie bike..
My 19mo old son is just expanding his vocabulary. One night with Grandma he heard her say “oohhh daaaaaaamn” while watching a tv show. The next day he asks me for a drink and we go to the fridge. While standing in the fridge staring at his cups he says “daaaaaamn mom!” He now uses this phrase when he looks through the Camera Ads with daddy, or when he sees the Fresh Beat Band on NickJr.
I knew I was in trouble the day my daughter (who was almost 3 at the time) got in trouble in the Target parking lot. I told her, “You are going to make God cry.” Her response is one I will never forget: hands raised in an innocent ‘what’ gesture she says, “But God not here. I no see his truck…” Yep… I’m in for it…
While baking cookies I was trying to teach my 11 year old daughter how math DOES play a part in our everyday lives. She is a very intelligent child, just a bit of an ‘air-head’ at times. The receipe that we were following called for 1/2 c. sugar. I held up the 1/4 c. measuring cup and told her, ‘This is 1/4 c. what does two quarters make?’ Without skipping a beat she replied, ‘Fifty cents.’ She quickly corrected herself and said, ‘A half of a cup.’ All I could do was laugh.
My 6 year old daughter is the one in our family who comes up with the funny stuff and the head scratchers.
here it is in grownup…praise your father in heaven or your grounded)
We are not really church goers. The kids go to vbs and have all attended a christian pre school, but thats about it so when she came up with this, well…..
I was driving them somewhere and out of nowhere in the best revival preacher impression ever (and she was 4 at the time and I’m going to spell it like she said it, because its funnier, lol) ” PahRayZe yo faTHah in HeaVeNah, or youRah gaRouNdedah!” her hands were waving in the air and her eyes were closed tight. And we all started laughing. I had to pull the car over I was laughing so hard. And she just sat there and said “whats so funny?”
(and in case you didn’t catch it because of the phonetic spelling and capitilizations for emphasis
My husband and I were teaching our two year old daughter the first names of everyone in the family. We were reviewing and we asked her “ok, what do we call your brother?” She thinks and gets a big proud smile and replys “stinky butt!”
When we got out of Sunday school my son (only 4 at the time) Came out looking very upset. He didn’t say a word (because he seemed to be concentrating) until he saw his older brother. He finally says,” You lied to me” Andrew responds,”About what?” Issac little face all crinkled up responding with, “You said Jesus lives in the sky but he REALLY lives in our hearts” … LOL
When my son, Jake was in the 1st grade, I had a parent/teacher meeting. His teacher informed me of an incident she had with my son Jake. She was sitting accross the table from him, and she noticed he kept covering his nose. Then he says “Someone at this table has real bad breath”! We both started laughing!
(Me getting son ready for church on Sunday.)
Son: Mom, I want to wear my platypus shirt today.
Me: What is your platypus shirt? You don’t have a platypus shirt.
Son: Yes, THIS one! (Holds up his PLAID dress shirt.)
Christian, Age 6-”Faith, you have to do what I say, I’m your mom.” Faith, Age 9 (yelling at Christian)-”No you’re NOT!!” Christian-”Don’t say that to your mom!”
My 5 yr. old grandaughter told her mother ” Mom you need to buy some Green Tea. My daughter asked Why, grandaughter replied, Cuz it will help your muffin top. I cracked up.
I usually play my stero pretty loud and you can hear my “bumping rap music” for miles. (people who don’t really know me, would be shocked to know what type of music I listen to… God forbid my neighboors hear it) As I turn into our neighborhood I quickly turn down the stero. This one time I forgot and my 8 y.o. daughter quickly says, “MOM! MOM! You better turn down your music- so the neighbors won’t JACK your stero!”
I just picked up my son from the first day of school and he was telling me about his day and meeting all his new classmates.
“But we didn’t go sit on the carpet and have circle time for that.”
“Do you still have circle time in 2nd grade?”
“Yeah mom, it’s not college.”
Duh.
Just yesterday my 3 y.o. son comes to me and says “Carly lost a feather.” (Carly is his 5 y.o. sister). Oh, okay I say, “don’t worry about it”. Then Carly comes over to me with a huge chunk of the cat’s fur and it occurs to me what he was really trying to say. Translation “Charlie lost his fur.” We then had a discussion on the difference between cats and birds.
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My 4 yr old son has recently gotten into floor puzzles. The other night, he was in his room while I was cooking dinner and pretty soon he yells…”Momma, I need help!” So I say, “What do you need help with Asher?” he sternly replied “WITH YOU!”
When my twin daughters were a month or two old, i was changig theor diapers obe day and my barely 2yo son says: “MOM. I know what the difference between girls and boys is!”
Uh oh… “You DO? What is the difference, Zack?”
Zack: “Boys have a wiener, and girls have a BUTT!”
(think about it)…
Good grief, can you tell I didn’t proofread that???
We were discussing dating with our 7yo son, and mentioned that he will need to pick up the tab for dinner. A lightbulb went off in his head, and he says: “OH! So, if I go on a date with a girl, I have to PAY for her!”
Hope not, son…
While at Magic Mountain and trying to motivate 3 kids towards the gate.
Me: “Everyone needs to keep up or you don’t get a souvenir.”
Liz: As she storms past the entire group.”I have no idea what a souvenir is… But I know I want one.”
Me – C, what do you want to be when you grow up
C – A doctor so I can help little kids.
Me – Cool!
C to D – D, what do you want to be?
D – I don’t know
C – Well, you could be like a doctor, or a teacher, or you could just walk your dog.
Lol…
My oldest daughter was about 8 years old at the time. We were washing our hands in the bathroom of a Target. She started to look at the sanitary napkin dispenser (which said “napkins: 25 cents”). Then she asked, “mom, why would you pay 25 cents for a napkin if you can get all the paper towels for free over there?” As she points to the paper towel dispenser. The lady at the next sink and I started laughing. I explained to her later what the whole “napkin” thing was about…
My daughter did the exact same thing at a Bakersfield Condors Hockey game during halftime. Unfortunatly there was not only one person at the sink. She had a friend that was a year older that quickly ushered her out and explained it.
My mom took my 7yo son to the cemetery to visit my grandfather’s grave. He was very interested in all the unique headstones with fancy writing and pictures. He started running from one to the other shouting for my mom to come and look.
“We need to be respectful and quiet when we’re here,” she told him.
“Why? They’re all dead, they can’t hear me.”